Like it or not..

hmm..im going to the rec todae with ariel and lora so yeah..haha...i dono..i think rosanne and rodney are going coz that's what lora told me and like yeah. i dont think thao's going coz lora told me that she said that the rec is gay so like um..yeah...ariels here! haha..talking to filray..(even though she cant talk..haha!! j/k) it's coz she just came from the den yeah. imma go now so late

WHY is the word of the day. i keep on asking me..."why did this happen to me?" "why do i like him so much?" "why do i remember every single detail about the whole thing?" "why do i always cry?" "why couldnt it be someone else?" "how long is this gunna last?" "will this stay with me for the rest of my life?" and so much more...but yeah..*sigh* anyways..i went to the movies todae and watched "dragonfly" it was kinda like the movie ugh...i fergot...oh yeah..it was kinda like "mothman prophecies" or something like that...*shurgs* haha...yepperz..ugh..imma go now...bye

WHY tis my word..and ariel knows why!!! haha...look at this...
itsjustmebernice: i donno why but im scared to call michael..
DaNaMeiShARieL: why?
itsjustmebernice: itsjustmebernice: i donno why but im scared to call michael..
itsjustmebernice: haha yer such a dorky person that's younger than me
DaNaMeiShARieL: haha
DaNaMeiShARieL: hahahaha

Auto response from itsjustmebernice: itsjustmebernice: i donno why but im scared to call michael..
DaNaMeiShARieL: why?
itsjustmebernice: itsjustmebernice: i donno why but im scared to call michael..
itsjustmebernice: haha yer such a dorky person that's younger than me
why!?!? why is this happening to me?!?!

haha my word for the day is "why"

DaNaMeiShARieL: im stupid!

haha tha's hella funny!!! but yeah...haha im crying and im laughing right now...i just called michael and trini said that he'd call me back in like five minutes..and yeah...well ugh..just wanted to letcha see the convo with ariel and i...haha!! yeah..okae bye

i really dont know what i'm feeling right now...it's weird coz todae after skool, i had to re-take a math test and later on...when i was walking to the place that my auntie usually picks me up....i passed by my old classroom and guess who was in it? *sigh* yeah..jackson...he was just sitting there...and i went back to go the other way coz these people were blocking the way that i was going....i saw alex...and i told him to come with me the original way that i went coz i wanted to see jackson again...and he did...and when i saw jackson in that classroom...it reminded me of last year...how i would go over to his classroom during passing period....and just "kick it" with him...and then like after 4 minutes i would say that i had to go coz i didnt wanna be late...he would say.."oh..okae then...bye" and we hugged and kissed..and so on...and like...i just had a quick flashback to this one day when he asked me out...for the second time....it was on February 28, 2001...and that same day..he got suspended fer saying that he was gunna bring a gun to skool and kill this one doode...and like...i found out when i went outside for passing period to go to 4th period. i went to my classroom, room 801, and put down my back pack....and went outside to find jackson and my friends...and ariel ran up to me and said "jackson's in juvie..." and i just ran back into the classroom, put my head on the table...and started to cry....i didnt know what to do...i just got scared for some reason...and i just kept on crying...for like about 10 minutes...and everybody was looking at me...but that didnt matter...and like when i went to lunch...and i was just all sitting there...and stuff...people tried to cheer me up..but then it didnt really work. at like 9 o' clock at night...jackson called me from his house..and i was like..."where are you?" and he goes..."my house..why??" and i said to him.."coz people told me that you were in juvie...is that true?" he responded.." oh....no..the cops came and they just took me home" and i was so relieved...and i was like..."JACKSON!!!!!!!!!!" he said.."yeah?" i said.."you got me so scared!!!!! oh my gosh!! i was so scared...." he goes....."oh..hehe dont worry....I'm alright...sorry" and blah blah blah. we hung up at like 9:30 coz his dad was home or something..and yeah...*sigh* even though that was one of the most scariest times in my life so far...i wanna go back to that day...coz as much as it hurt back then...it doesnt even compare to how hurt i am right now...*tear* goodness...there's something wrong with me..i mean..after one year...dontcha think i would be able to get over him already??!! that's what i would've thought...but no......i cant. but yeah...anyways....todae i didnt really ugh......well yeah i did...i went to skool and yeah...re-took the math test...and saw jackson..yeah yenno the whole story. im looking at this one picture that jackson gave to me in sixth grade...coz i ripped up his other one...coz like...we got mad at each other...and when i was going to fifth period....david and ariel told me that he ripped mine up....and i had his in my pocket..so i was like.."man..fuck it" and ripped it up...and i gave the pieces to ariel and she gave them to david...and he was like..."oooooooo someone's mad..." and i just ran crying to fifth period..(band) and like yeah. i donno why the hell i'm telling you guys this...im just saying what i would say if i were talking to one of my best friends..."letting it all out" haha...yepperz....i remember this feeling i had in sixth grade....i donno how to explain it...but it felt like....i donno....haha too hard to explain..but everytime i think of that feeling...i think of jackson. it was like i was really "at peace" and sixth grade was the only time i had that feeling...ahhhhh....i dont wanna reminisce...imma go now.....laterz........

ugh..todae was alright..i guess...me, thao,charyze, rosanne,lora,jessica (my cousin), ariel, filray, and rodney went to utc and ugh...yeah...haha. we didnt do much...too lazy to type...and yeah. i went home one hour late..so my mom and family went out to eat without me. i had to break in my own house with my cousin...and i think i broke the window screen..but that's okae! i think..im gunna get grounded again...but im used to it now..coz my mom said i was grounded last week fer like one month and i went out todae..so yeah..i dont think it's gunna be fer long...haha..yeah.oh yeah..i didnt have a valentine on the 14th(happy valentines day =o)) . um... on the 15th i stayed home while most of my friends went to the rec, and then on the 16th, i went to the movies, and then ugh...yesterday i went to L.A and todae i went to utc and yeah yeah yeah..whatevers....it's done so late.....
ps..... WE REPPIN MCDONALDS!!!! (inside joke with the people who went to utc) *smile*